Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely, Logic.
Dear Stephenie Meyer,
I'm sorry your fans are so obnoxious. Try using less glitter.
Sincerely, J.K. Rowling.
Dear Edward,
You're doing it wrong.
Sincerely, Dracula.
Dear Avatar,
Pocahontas called, she wants her story line back.
Sincerely, Disney.
Dear six-fingered man,
You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Sincerely, Inigo Montoya.
Dear Bella,
It's not going to work out between us. I've decided i'm really into werewolves, and well, let's face it, you're no Jacob.
Sincerely, Edward Cullen.
Dear Justin Bieber,
Don't worry, we'll be real boys some day...
Sincerely, Pinocchio.
Dear Person Who Linked me this Site,
Please never send me a link again. I have responsibilities and absolutely no willpower.
Sincerely, Agnes.
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